Deep roots grow tall trees....

At 5'4" I'm not especially tall nor am I deeply rooted.

Perhaps it was in retaliation to my upbringing - 18 years in the same town, house and room - that launched me into my string of serial-moves. In the years that have followed my initial advance I've lost count of number of addresses, apartments and roommates that I've had. In fact, I stopped counting a few years ago when all of the aforementioned stats reached the double digits.

I am neither proud nor ashamed of this. "This" is simply a part of being Britt. I will move until I find the place that makes me want to stay. And then I will stay and be happy. Or not.

When Steven asked me to move to Ottawa I saw anther opportunity for me to potentially find that place. "Yes, of course! Ottawa! I was always meant to live in Ottawa! In Ottawa I will find what I have been looking for!"

What I hadn't anticipated (I never do) was that I wouldn't find what I was looking for there. While Ottawa itself is a great city, what with its ability to weather recessions well and all that, it's a great city away from the friends, family and the other people that I know and love. And so now I second guess brushing off the possibility of living happily in Manitoba, for life in it's Easterly neighbor.

So here I am with one foot planted in Manitoba and one foot planted in Ottawa, and two arms reaching out and frantically grabbing for South America, India, Russia... or anywhere else that might have what I'm looking for. Or, it might not.

Tomorrow I fly back to Manitoba for an annual camping trip with friends. I will be gone only a few days and I will remember why I want to live there, and I will also be reminded of why I don't. And then the two ideologies will fight internally within me second guessing one another until they're both blue in the face and so exhausted that they will just agree to disagree and I'll move to Alaska to see if what I want is there.

What do I want? Like everyone, I want what I don't have. As the case may be, I want roots. I want roots that run so deep they wrap around rocks, houses, water pipes and other trees. Roots that declare themselves, and the entire tree, happy to be "HERE" forever. But, I don't have roots. I have branches and, for now those aren't so bad.